Inner World

 

25/01/2021

It is tough…

I mean, we all try to do our best but it’s never pleasant to be limited in what we “are allowed to do”. Like children going through the usual upbringing…

And it’s long… Oh yeah, there are quite some similarities with childhood, it does remind me indeed the feeling of the young myself, thinking “When I turn adult, I’ll go out whenever I want, and buy all the chocolate I can carry!”

But then when I look back, in those never-ending years of (loving) imprisonment inside the perimeter of children’s room, I remember how good it was for me, too. Hiding under the blanket with a torch to read books after bed time, trying (and failing but trying again) to NOT eat all my limited supplies of chocolate in one go, having to put up with my brother’s very different taste of music, or exploring quite safely what happens if I just stop talking for few days…

In those years when I felt unfairly chained and was mostly reading, daydreaming, thinking and making some considerably useless stuff, I set the very foundation for my inner world, that I keep inside me still and could later share with everyone who listens to PerKelt songs. The peace of being alone with my thoughts. The beauty of stories read before sleep. The first lucid dreams where I can fly and do anything I want, without ever leaving my bed. And a lot more…

Yes, it felt SO GOOD to eventually throw myself in the vast outer world and surf the unpredictability of meeting new strangers every day. I had to wait for it for a long time but seeing what I learnt and created in the meantime, for the future “unleashed” me, I am really grateful I did. However difficult and deeply unfair it felt at the time…

So now, I am staying up till late, enjoying stories before sleep, dreaming, listening to the music of my housemates, and making (sometimes considerably useless:)) stuff for the future me. And though I have to wait to “be allowed” to unleash my full potential again, I know that I CAN wait. And that later I will most certainly see again how good this waiting was for me…

Also, it’s my birthday today! I got new slippers and t-shirt with Deadpool! 🙂

Take care you all <3

Big LOVE

-Steppy

***

12/10/2020

PerKelt is still on an enforced sabbatical, there are beautiful things being created behind the curtains but no live gigs mean I have time (and after finishing one massive collaboration project finally some mind space) for expressing some thoughts.

I know it’s getting long, and actual lives of vulnerable friends are put in danger. I am totally up for helping to protect them and very proud of the humankind that empathy wins big time and in general we all somehow comply with this strategy. But what makes me feeling very sad (and before the pandemic it was Brexit, before that it was the refugee crisis and the list goes on) is how people of different opinions can’t talk with each other anymore. Friendships are being broken, families split apart, those with a different opinion cast away as ‘dangerous’ and fear is winning over love. THAT I am very much not proud of and it often makes me escape the “social media” level of existence, though otherwise it is an incredible tool…

I am a gamer. And many of the lessons for the ‘practical life’ I’ve learnt from my favourite board games and card games. That losing in a duel doesn’t mean the end of the world. That when it all looks hopeless I need to stop panicking and revisit all the options before making another move. That all the decisions are made by calculating/estimating the probabilities and finding the right priorities. And that the worst thing that can happen, no matter who wins or loses, is that two friends would leave the gaming table angry with each other. These simple discoveries became an integral part of my life and at one point I finally understood what my very good friend meant when he said that ‘life is a game’.

Over the years I practiced putting these lessons into practice. Counting how probable it is that something of mine gets stolen or damaged and if it’s worth to stop trusting others. Stopping every thought and just breath when I notice that panic is taking over. Trusting myself that I can easily deal with losing even the biggest game. And probably the most important one: Prioritising love and friendship over the fearful urge to always win.

So you can see how saddened I can get when two people I love (and I happen to love probably everybody:)) start calling each other ugly names, mocking each other’s point of view, burning bridges and sometimes even pulling me into this craziness and asking me to join one of the war sides. I just want to sit and listen to what you see. Maybe ask questions when I am not sure I understand. And even if we still disagree at the end, I want to make sure that we hug and smile, looking forward to seeing each other again. Because even if the world turns into ashes (and I can tell you, it is HIGHLY IMPROBABLE it ever will:)) the only time we really lose everything is when a brother turns against his sister.

With big love to the family of humans ❤

Steppy, PerKelt

(pic by Cliff de Booy, CastleFest 2018)

***

04/04/2020

We were a bit silent recently for few reasons…

Slaughtered Lamb Friday 13th

a) All the gigs are getting obviously cancelled, and knowing how much we were looking forward to them (and working as hell to make them a completely next level experience for everyone) it was a bit harder than usual to find the right words…

b) Every day, there was so much being said about the current situation already, that there wasn’t much to add.

c) The obvious way out of problems like this is to start working hard 🙂 So we made ourselves REALLY busy with recording and writing new music for you.

But… As we are gradually adapting to the new order of things, words are slowly coming back to my mind and want to be shared. So just briefly:

However we can often bring a fresh point of view,I don’t think it’s the job of a musician to tell their audience what to do, to claim that we know the way out of troubles… We are not scientists or world leaders. We simply can’t know any better than you.

It is, however, the job of a musician to give their audience the strength to deal with anything the world throws at them. Yes, music can do that… I remember very well myself, in the times of the biggest need, when even friends couldn’t help, when my scattered mind would play tricks on me, and anxieties were leaving me only when depressions were stronger than them. When the mind was so unstable even meditations wouldn’t be possible. It was listening to the music of my favourite band that gave me the solid ground under my feet. That made me fly again and gave me the peaceful space I needed so much.

To be able to create this kind of music, the music that shows the listener where is their strength to love, strength to open their heart again, strength to laugh and dance no matter what situation the world (or your life) is currently in… for that the musician himself needs to be strong like a lion, with a soft heart of a dove. (a quote of my guitar teacher from 12 years ago)

I love the fact that the five members of PerKelt are exactly that kind of people. When all the gigs are getting cancelled (and frankly, unless some miracle happens soon they will keep getting cancelled for quite some time), instead of mourning, crying and complaining, we started immediately thinking what to do next. Yeah, that’s what made us, the humankind, such a dominant animals after all – the skill to always find the way, to adapt to the new situation and get the best out of it. To imagine a way… and then put our hands together in creating this a new reality.

So… that’s what we are doing, currently. Very soon, after all the preparations are finished, we will share with you our plans for the nowadays very transformed future. We are all actually REALLY excited!!! 🙂

In the short meantime, please, take care. And if you find yourself feeling low, listen to music that gives you strength.

We love you ❤

Steppy,

PerKelt

(The picture is from our last gig for some time, Friday the 13th at The Slaughtered Lamb, taken by Peter Males, thank you! You were such a great audience… We can’t wait to be allowed to play at least smaller shows again…)

***

13/12/2019

In the UK we woke up into quite a challenging morning… It is the nature of an artist to care about the World. And politics, however oftentimes appalling, is an inseparable part of the big picture of that big World we all live in. Affecting each of us whether we want or not. Not just by the decisions these chosen people make in the big global game, but even more importantly by their presence in media, with their words and their intentions… the spells they cast, amplified through TV, newspapers and money. That affects all of us nearly every day… There was a glimmer of hope that one of the richest and most powerful countries on this planet would choose a new direction, different to the others, a direction where love, truth, moral and empathy will be the new set of the highlighted values… Sadly, not today. Just like in so many other countries in the last several years, the lies, money and selfishness won another battle last night. Another loss for those who care about truth, kindness and the wellbeing of others, one might feel…

Fantasy Forest 2019 (pic by Steppy)

But…

The real battle isn’t any kind of a war between the people… we all are in this together. And we all are so much more than just “people”. We are the LIFE. We are the wind, we want to be the hot air that lifts the spirit up like a feather, before the cold air could bring it back to the ground. We want to see the feather dancing up in the sky, we want to keep the fire burning and let more of these loving and caring fires being lit and growing, so the feather can keep dancing in the hot air, far and high.

With all the beautiful open hearts, make sure to keep the fire burning. Do not learn from those currently in power to fall for the easy way of lies and cowardice but face the truth bravely. Do not learn to prefer the personal profit if it could mean one causes harm to another. Do not stop seeking the truth…

As a very wise person once wrote: “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

So most importantly, do not despair if you see the feather dropped on the ground because the air was too cold. do not give up but smile and dance to keep the fire burning…

We love you ❤

PerKelt